House of 9: The Review

House of 9  [2005]

The movie I'm watching tonight is called House of 9. The title was what hooked me into wanting to see this, I mean I personally think it sounds like a very interesting title. And from the small bits of information I gathered from online, it is supposed to be a horror movie. Now, I'm actually a huge fan of horror films, I love them intact, and so I decided to watch it. And if that did not have me interested, it is a British film and I love watching things that are international. Here's my review of a movie most people probably have never heard of, House of 9.

Synopsis:

The beginning of the movie starts out with all the different people who will make up the 9 in the title and what they are currently doing in their lives. Some are out partying, others are just walking along, but all of them in the end are abducted and taken to the house. There are also some shots interlacing the scenes of how they are abducted of the house that they will be in. Right from the start, you can see where this is going.

The nine different people then wake up in this house, the windows have all been bricked-in and the front door is made of steel, reinforced and not moving. There are eerie glowing lights all around them and except for some beds, bathrooms, a very small kitchen, and a table, the house is empty. Then a man comes on the speaker and tells them that they have been chosen randomly and only one will be getting out of the house alive and with a lot of money too. From there, the movie turns into a dramatic thriller as the nine contestants are suddenly tested between being a society and survival of the fittest.

Verdict: 1.75 / 5 stars

I'm just going to be straight out when I say this is a really cool, really terrifying concept that sort of takes the idea of Lord of the Flies and applies it to a basic concept of being locked away in a house. Or at least, I wish that was the concept that went in behind this movie. It's not. Instead, the creators break this movie up and make something that is supposed to be a bit more catching and a little bit closer to the edge of your seat. They fail and it goes down horrible.

The first half of the movie should be called something along the lines of "Democracy: Sit On Your Arse" because literally it becomes this democratically struggle of who is in charge and what should they do. One guy is a cop with a  gun, the rest are all civilians with really boring back stories of the most part. They eat, they sit, they drink, they sit, they explore, they sit, they dance, they sit, and all around nothing happens. Literally this is a HUGE loss of stars for this film, because when I watch a movie the only person who should be sitting and doing nothing for more than five minutes should be me. So I'm going to take off huge. Instead, I would have liked to have seen the creators of this movie have made them first want to escape, then each of the characters find something that's different, interesting, a clue maybe as to what is going on. Maybe it is something that helps them in their final task, maybe it's something that they think will help but turns into someone else's prize. That would have been interesting and added some flavor to this. But like I said, all they do is sit and eat and dance and sit some more. What a waste of a beautifully undefined mansion.

The second half of the movie is where the action starts. Something goes wrong, society fails, and all hell breaks lose for our heroes. Except at this point you've either come to love or come to hate certain characters and in a way you've already selected who you want to live and who you want to die. Why? Because the first half of the movie was sitting and eating and you learned how annoying some of the characters are. So anyway, all hell breaks loose, people start dying, and a winner wins. The end. Oh, there's a twist in there but it's really not that important, big, or unguessable (I actually knew the twist right when it happened because it seemed fishy).

But the most disappointing part was that they left the Priest alive for so damn long. Now I know the reason they did it was to play with this notion of is God really watching, but let's be honest. No, no he is not and it wasn't fun to watch them figure that out. I mean, this priest so so annoying that from the minute he started talking I just kept thinking, 'please die, I don't need this much of him in the movie'. But he keeps living, and he lives for what seems like forever. I'm being honest when I say he ruins part of the movie, and that's why I'm making a big note out of it.

Last, this movie loses points because of the ending. I like vague endings, but this one wasn't even that. It was a continuation ending, one that tells you there's basically a part two to the whole tale. I hate those in movies where they did not even answer a question the first time around. So why the hell would I want to see a sequel if nothing gets answered the first time? I don't. Minus points.

So where did this movie get points, because I'll admit I'm really smacking it down. Well the original concept is a brilliant and very interesting one, so I gave it some awesome points for that. And the art direction in the film is chilling, very well done for defining the house and the characters. I think it could had been better on the house, but I can see the effects that the director was heading for and I'll give him that. And finally, although I hated the ending for the vague, very mentally distilled, and overall annoying, it did have something to it that made me think back a bit. So I gave it that. But most importantly, I really did want to see something happen and have a mystery. Now, it's too bad the mystery in this film is a no brainer, but I appreciate the poor attempt. 1.75/5 stars.