Merry Christmas - A Special Blog Edition

Let me begin by firstly saying Merry Christmas to everyone that reads my blog (which is mainly my friends, and thats just fine). I hope everyone is enjoying their celebration and having a good time. Its a good time to be with family.

So now on to my special blog edition of my personal Christmas. I was called heartless, stupid, mean, rude, and probably several other things I forgot to mention. Why? Well let me just go back to where the heartless one happened, its really all that matters.

We were out visiting my only living grandparent left, who is unstable as it goes and thus lives in an old folks home. While looking for his glasses in his apartment room (at the old folks home, where old people who don't understand personal possessions will literally walk into rooms and take shiny things and walk out) my Dad found a card of my now passed-away Grandmother. For reference, she died a few months back. Anyway, my Dad finds the card and asks if I have seen it. I say no, so he tells me to read it. I say no again. I get called heartless.

But let me explain myself - I have never had a great relationship with my Grandmother. My whole life I was actually and literally treated like the bad child, the worst grandson, the other one so to speak. Literally, she believed in my older and young brothers more than she ever did me and she always gave them a different and bigger amount of respect. So as time went on and my head caught up to that idea, I kind of came around to hating my Grandmother. That is to say at least until the last time I saw her. The last words she said to me, the last ones she spoke to her grandsons for that matter, was "I'm so very proud of you." I know it doesn't sound like much, but image a woman who's having trouble staying awake, trouble speaking, and literally on death's row saying that. More importantly, she didn't say anything of that sort to my brothers.

Now maybe its because they were still trying to impress her with all the things they had learned and done that she didn't feel the need to tell them, maybe it was just the fact that of all her grandsons we spoke the least to each other, or maybe something just clicked for her in those last minutes we were there. It doesn't really matter, it completely changed everything for me into the complicated mess that is the relationship I have with my now deceased Grandma. And its cause of that sort of screwed-up relationship that I don't want to read what someone else wrote about her anymore, I don't need it. I cry enough for her already, which is something I thought I never would. It hurts to be called heartless when the truth is the exact opposite.

Now to explain the rest of what was said, well... my Dad is a master of saying all the wrong things. Literally he's like a man that just stabbed a knife through your chest and knows how to twist and turn it without killing you. Its agonizing to be around him, so when he starts twisting that knife I fight back.

So that's what holidays are like for me, they are pretty torturous and painful but I live through them anyway. At any rate, I'd rather spend the holidays with my family then with a friends family, a guest in a house I don't understand. That's not to say I don't love my friends, just I don't want to be there for their awkward Christmas where everything goes disastrously wrong for their family. (I have a feeling I have a whole life of spouse-family Christmas disasters ahead of me anyway).

Well, hope that made sense cause it felt good to try and just write it out. Happy Holidays everyone :)

As if There wasn't Enough Distractions Already

Thanksgiving has come and gone, Black Friday has passed, and yet there is still hope as we approach the final of the triplet holidays. The final one is known as Cyber Monday and, in the only way that can make sense, happens on this upcoming Monday. So what does this mean for everyone else out there? It means that I am once again uber-distracted by all of the awesome deals coming in.

Thanks to Facebook, I’ve become an addict to the online game Millionaire City. It’s like all the other games out there on these social networking sites. You start off small with the hopes of becoming something big and you have to watching it at least once a day to really get the full benefit of the game. Thank you Farmville for starting all of this...

BUT WAIT, there is way more than just that. As if I don’t already have enough video games to distract me, the large internet based game-center (for lack of a better term) called Steam has decided to also run a huge sale. Basically each day they will be giving out games at a huge discount (50% or more, sometimes close to 99% off) and so I’ve been watching it and collecting a large library of video games now. This has also taken both time and money from me. So, I’m having the greatest of trouble trying to get back into the whole “write stuff” thing. I have ideas, a lot of them, and they are all over the place. I’m ready to write them down too... but then I see the games and go back to that.

As far as my Holiday goes, this was definitely one of the more interesting ones. I’m not going to say it was good or bad, but it was somewhere in between for sure. Anyway, how was your holiday?