Roommates: Part 2

So the more I live with this kid, the more I just can't stand him. It's not that he's a bad person in any way, but rather because he just annoys the hell out of me with every little thing he does. Listen, I like exactly two types of roommates:

1. The ones that stay out of my life-style's path
2. The ones that get into my life-style's path, but clean-up

Let me explain those in a little bit more detail. When a roommate stays out of my life-style's path, I mean that they literally are almost like a ghost in the apartment. They make messes every now and then and they have friends over every now and then, but for the most part its almost like I'm living alone. They don't question how loud I am at night, they don't question when doors slam, they take showers at times that don't ever seem to interfere with my shower time, and they aren't in the kitchen when I need the kitchen. Basically, we co-exist in separate worlds and only cross paths by sharing the same space. And because these people are so out of sync with my life-style (its a coincidence), I actually don't mind cleaning up after them. That's right, they can leave fairly small messes and I'll pick up after them because they let me live my life peacefully.

The second one is different. This is the type of person who does interfere with the way I like to live my life. Literally, this person will be in the kitchen using everything when I'd like to cook, using the bathroom whenever I might need it, complains about my life-style and tells me to change, and so forth. All I ask of this person is that if they want me to change my life-style, they need to change their own AND they need to clean-up the apartment with me. I know it sounds weird, but its a hassle to change the way I like to live so if I'm going to put in effort to make their life better then they better put effort in to make my life better.

My current roommate is neither of these options and I hate him for it. So where to begin...

Bathroom: When I get up in the morning, and my schedule isn't a normal one at all, I'd like to have the right to take a shower. I wake up between 8 and 10 AM every day. Wouldn't you know it, but I have the one roommate who doesn't seem to ever get up until right before I need the bathroom in the morning. But wait, it get's worse for someone like me. He also takes two showers a day. That means two times a day he's in there for more than 15 minutes that I need. Guess what, he takes that shower not when I'm away, but when I'm back. So it's like he's purposefully choosing times that interfere with our interactions. It drives me nuts. Now, I said I'd be fine with this if he would clean. Guess what, he has NEVER cleaned the bathroom nor do I think he knows how. Hell, he doesn't even know how to get out of the shower without getting the floor wet. And for everyone out there that doesn't know how to magically do that, grab the towel off the rack (especially since his is RIGHT NEXT TO THE SHOWER) and dry yourself off before you step out. I know, it takes a whole second to think that process through.

Kitchen: So I don't always get home from classes/school life until 7 to 9 PM, and when I get back I usually want to just throw my stuff off my back and start cooking a quick meal. Except four out of five times my roommate is in the kitchen cooking and he is the worst chef I think I've ever seen. Most people learn by the age of 18 that if you aren't cooking efficiently, then you are wasting time. I've never seen someone take so much time slicing raw chicken. Just cut that damn thing into chunks and throw it in the pan already. And he gets his water boiling on 6 out of 9 heat. This is what I mean, I'd have cooked 2 meals in the time that he cooks his 1 and it drives me nuts because the kitchen is literally only big enough for 1 person to cook in it at a time. Get the fuck in and get the fuck out. Simple as that. But wait, he never cleans up his pots and pans right away either. So there's another mine field I hate to touch and I hate having crowded sinks too, it drives me nuts. Its one of those little things that just gets to me if you aren't having guests over. And to top it off, none of the counter tops ever get clean. If you are going to be in my way, make sure you clean it all up before you get out of my way.

Bedroom: Now I know that this shouldn't seem to be an area where I'd be bugged, because we don't have a shared bedroom. Literally I have my own and he has his own, so there shouldn't be a problem. Except there are a ton. First of all, he yells at me for "slamming" the door when I leave my room at night. Want to know what a slam sounds like in his room? Shut your door softly and you'll see he's over reacting. Literally, I've been yelled at multiple times for "slamming" my door even when the wind blows it shut. The kid is a psycho. And to top that one off, I'd like to note that if you are going to live with someone like me, get use to it because I probably won't remember to change. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. If I talk at night louder than a whisper he also yells at me because I woke him up. Now I'm not sure about where you live, but I've played heavy base music really loud and gone in his room and its been literally a soft beat. So the walls literally stop almost all sound. And I know some people have sensitive ears, but come on, go buy ear muffs or something if that's your problem and stop being a douche and telling me to change. I'd like to note I'm really hitting hard on these things, because I asked him to change the following stuff I'm about to talk about and it still hasn't happened. Now, in contrast, when he brings his Girlfriend over, who is literally the loudest slut on the planet, I can't get away from it. I literally have heard every type of noise imaginable come out of her from in that room at all hours. I'm sorry, but I don't want to hear your underage girlfriend moaning and if you know she's a loud moaner, maybe its time to go back to her place. Oh she lives in the dorm, well then go find a field in the middle of nowhere and have sex there. At least its away from me. Jesus. And besides that, he talks about my singing, but trust me you don't want to hear his...

Overall my roommate is a type 3 roommate, which I didn't describe above because I can't stand that type. They get in the way of your life-style, feel that their life-style is more important than your own (which ironically causes an equal reaction), and then don't ever seem to understand why you don't like them.

And just a note, the WHOLE reason I'm writing a big, long post about all this crap is because my roommate has literally ONE job to do in the apartment. I said I would keep up the bathroom, keep up the kitchen, keep up the living room, and try to fix my life-style if he tried to fix his (which he didn't, but I let that slide sometimes) and WOULD TAKE OUT THE TRASH. Seriously, less than 5 minutes of your life maybe once a week and I would be happy. Go fuck yourself kid.

Now for reference, here's a list of my previous roommates:

• Kevin P (Amazing) - He never once interfered with my life-style and in fact I think overall enhanced my life with his positive attitude. We had similar life-styles too, so it made living together pretty smooth.
• Brandon W (Great) - This is another person where we had fairly similar life-styles and I think he overall enhanced my life for the short time we lived together. Very positive guy!
• Jordan F (Good) - There were a few clashing points between us being roommates, but overall everything went really smooth throughout the year. I don't think I'd live in the same room as him again, but the same apartment would be fine.