Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit Review

Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit [2010] 

So beyond just watching television shows and movies, and beyond first person shooter war games, I've been working on a whole new set of games that I normally don't get around to because I'd rather play the ones that make me happy and I have friends on. So one of the first games that I went back and decided to play was Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit [2010]. Let it be known that this is a reboot of the classic need for speed franchise, which for all sakes and purposes did not really need a reboot since it has had a steady release at least every couple of years. And not only that, but the games tend to be rather solid.

Anyway, here's some background information about my feelings on this game. I loved Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 2 back in the day when it was on Playstation 1. I really loved driving past cops and racing through the career mode. So I have high hopes for this game. But even beyond that, I love Criterion Games. I thought that they were probably the best racing developers out there since I first came across them with Burnout 3: Takedown. Seriously, I love them so much that I have two copies of Burnout: Revenge, and I played Burnout: Paradise way past when I should have stopped (and beat it twice because I played one two different consoles). So to say that I had high hopes for this game is kind of an understatement considering it is a premium racing developer working on a platinum series. Here's my review.

Graphics:

Most would think it weird that I want to start with graphics, but in truth this is where the game shines best. From fabulously done real cars to waterfalls in the background to storms happening with lighting, the game has a very impressive graphics engine. It's perfect the way it is, maybe even over done compared with what else I'm about to talk about, but by far the best part of this game is the graphics engine.

With that said, there are no Burnout style crashes and there are no large jumps or anything too extreme. Just miles of beautiful roads for the astoundingly detailed cars to drive down. This is the best part of the game, take my word for it.

Gameplay:

The gameplay is simple, cops on one side and racers on the other. Racers fight against each-other for the first-place spot while cops fight to take-down all of the racers. It's the basic formula. They also try to give cops an advantage, but that's not all.

The main difference in this game from previous ones is that the cops and racers all get power-up moves to use. For instance, if a cop wants to they can try to add a road-block to stop the racers and the racers can use EMPs. Both teams can shoot spike strips out the back of their cars. So they try to spice it up this way, but in total there are 7 different power-ups. To be honest, it wasn't reinventing the wheel but it was a step in the right racing direction. A step, not a leap.

Now before I go on, let me explain the map as well. Its open, there are tons of roads that link to one another and every now and then there's a small secret path. Overall, this was the most BORING map I've ever played in a need for speed game. Literally, most the roads are long stretches of straightways with little curves thrown in, but there's no real shortcuts or big cities to make it fun to navigate and do turns. It was like the creative center of the Criterion map brains, which in the past has been amazing, was turned off this time around as they made the map as simplistic and non-organic as possible. Overall, it added to the boredom in the end of feel like you were on the same path even in the scenery changed.

Story (Single Player):

This is let down number one in the game, there's absolutely no story. They put in two career modes but overall it should just be called advance and get stuff modes because there's really nothing more to it than a simple leveling up system. The races slowly get more exciting and over time you actually start getting some intense games, but over time.

That's my problem, the career modes (racers and cops, where you play either as a racer or as a cop) are so drawn out and boring that I actually had trouble playing even past the first 20 races on either side. And that's not to say that they aren't fun, but rather that they just aren't that interesting. Race here against no-one, race here against the clock, race here against a timer... it really did draw out so long that I wasn't sure there were cop chases in this game. And so by the time I got there, I was frustrated. Let this be known, because the intense single player is actually REALLY far in the game and takes FOREVER to get to. I recommend skipping the story.

Multiplayer:

So if Single player isn't very intense, I still could have high hopes for the multiplayer since it was cop on racer action, right? Well there's three multiplayer modes that come on the disc, a race mode where its racers vs each other vs the cops, a one on one, and a third mode that I didn't even try. So let's start with the basics.

The race mode seemed great the first time I played it, intense running from the cops and it was action packed. But the more I played it, the more I realized it was less about racing and more about trickery. For instance, racers were not compelled to move forward at any time and, for all that matters, they could turn around and just drive past the cops. So a lot of times you'll see the racers just switch gear and go backwards, making a cop or two need to turn around to go catch them. This was something that should have been fixed, get too far behind the cop and you forfeit or something. So that's already bad.

But wait, the other bad part is that there are boosts for have playing the game longer. Players who play a lot more get a TON more cars that are actually WAY better than the starter sets. It's almost like slapping new people in the face that don't want to play the terrible story mode the entire way throughout. I can't tell you how annoying it is to never even be in the league on the race because you don't have a car to really compete.

But wait, remember when I said it was Racer vs Racer vs Cops? Well I lied, because its actually Racer vs Cops with bonus for finishing. So sometimes racers will hold up cops on purpose because as long as one racer paces the finish, they all get points.

If you aren't seeing what I'm getting at, this mode is EXTREMELY flawed and kind of boring since no one really wants to play it right. I mean, it counts as a win on the racing team if another member gets across the line. That's not a race, that's just a team run-around. I think Criterion had the right idea, but then did everything wrong. And what annoys me about this is that in one of their press conferences before the game was released, they are quoted for calling it a "rabbit being hunted by dogs" game, except it felt more like a bunch of dogs without any teeth. To that extent, I leave the multiplayer annoyed and flawed.

But I would like to make one final point, which is that for a game that's supposed to feel like prey and predators, there should almost always be more prey than predators. So even if they fixed up the flaws I've mentioned above, about the only way to make the cops fun is to really give them a boost, and then down their numbers from a 50% cops - 50% racers to about 35% cops - 65% racers (IE more racers so more for the cops to take down). It sounds weird, but trust me, having to play a cop one game and a racer the next and then a cop again is kind annoying when really I bought the game to be the racer. So down the cops and make it that we play cops every two games that we play racers. Win for all.

Verdict: 2 / 5 Stars

Between the lack of a good single player (and no, I'm not saying not having a story, I'm saying in general the single player was boring) and the multiplayer being extremely flawed, all this game really had was beautiful graphics and a wonderfully done amount of cars. That's right, I'm going to give this game all of it's points for graphics and number of well-done cars. So if you haven't figured out by now, the game didn't do to well because in my mind, that's nothing compared to what is really needed to be a fully functioning game.

No, I couldn't let up that the single player is almost unplayable because of the amount of time-trials and worthless races that were not Hot Pursuits that flood the beginning. And I couldn't give points for the extremely flawed multiplayer or the lack of versatility that came with it. And I definitely couldn't give points for how boring all the roads where. Seriously, I could drive around for hours and have absolutely no idea where I was, which is a feat considering how beautiful the surroundings were. It just felt bland.

I'm giving this game a 2/5 stars.

Double Review: The Thing

So I'm actually sitting here right now, watching the 2011 version of The Thing. As I'm watching it, all I can think is that I NEED to write a review for this movie. Except, I think to really understand my review for the newest movie, I should give a glimpse into the mind and thoughts of the previous one. As such, for the first time ever, I'm going to do a double review.

The Thing [1982]

So it turns out that order of operations in important and I NEED to do a review of the first Thing [1982] before I even consider a review of the newer one. So below is my review of a movie I haven't seen in a while, but in all honesty I remember extremely well.

Synopsis:

So the movie actually starts very weird, where a helicopter is seen chasing down a dog, trying to kill it for whatever reason when they run into another camp in the middle of the arctic. The camp sees this action and tells the helicopter to not come any closer, but of course the helicopter does and so, thinking that he has gone mad since he's chasing a dog, they kill them.

Well, turns out the dog is actually an evil monster (that's not the surprise, you know it by the way that they are doing everything in the movie) and the other camp had discovered the monster buried in the ice. The rest of the movie plays out trying to solve how the monster works and, using the best graphics and special effects available for 1982, a horrific show is created where the true terror is in the story, the idea, and overall just the brilliant concept.

Verdict: 4.5 / 5 Stars

This movie is a horror CLASSIC! If you are big into horror movies or big into cult films, then please give this movie your support by going and watching it. And although the movie is considered old now (30 years and counting), the concept for the time was brilliant, the special effects were well done, and the way they use the camera to really bring out the horror is what makes this movie. So if you have some free time and don't mind things that goes on the slightly gross side, then please check this out.

But just to be frank, the best part of the movie was actually when they develop a way to solve who the thing is. Seriously, it's the most memorable scene in the movie and it has probably the biggest impact. Especially since the way they solved it was so primitive and yet so brilliant. Add in the natural terror that it could be anyone, and it's a brilliant effect.

Seriously, I can't tell how many bad horror movies I've seen, but this one has a great concept and is done very well. So my personal verdict is 4.5/5 stars!

The Thing [2011]

And so now we move onto the more recent film. Now I know I didn't give that last film a very big introduction or really any synopsis at all, but that's because the real intent of this review is to describe the newer movie of the two. I mean, surely with new special effects and a classic horror idea they couldn't go wrong, or so I thought...

Synopsis:

First of all, it is extremely important for me to point out that this movie is not the sequel to the 1982 horror, but actually the prequel. That's right, the end of this movie is obviously the beginning of the next movie. So what we know right away is that only two people should live, the thing should become the dog, and in the end we should see him chasing the pooch away. At least, in theory that's what we should see.

Well this movie starts out with some Norwegians on a big truck running all over the place and they're talking about something stupid. To be fair and honest, I was reading the text at the bottom for a minute, but it really didn't matter at this point since he's telling some sick story about a boy and his grandmother (you can imagine). Then their big truck or whatever crashes through the ice where they make a major discovery, there's an alien ship. So far so good. Well, really that's the last of the staying-on-track parts of this movie. And it should be very simple to get form point one, discovering the alien, to point two, where the whole base is dead...

Verdict: 1.75 / 5 Stars

See the cast and crew was perfectly fine, the set-up was exactly what was expected since it was the prequel to the original thing, but the problem with this movie is clearly that they would rather invest more money in special effect than work with a large group of writers that want the movie to follow the best story possible. From start to finish, you'll see where they spent countless hours trying to flash gory scenes and really bring to life the Thing, but they never quite get it looking right either. And so instead of doing what made the first film great, which is sort of hiding the creature for most of the film and making it into more a mystery of who is the thing, they go about trying to turn this movie into an action thriller.

But not just that ruins this movie. No, the creators also went into depth to really try and make something new for us to watch be hunted. But in the end, they actually end up ruining the original movie because in this movie the Thing was able to do SO many more things that it makes the Think from the original look pathetic. That's right, special effects are truly the deviant in this film series and what brought about the end to what was probably the greatest idea ever.

I think what really made me want to subtract points was that the original movie had such a clever way of solving who the Thing was that when the scientists came up with a way in this movie, it seemed like the creators of this prequel didn't understand what made the original so damn classical. And that frustrates me as a movie goer, because I WANTED this movie to be good.

However, with all that said and done, the new movie does a decent (though it could have been better) job of getting from the two points. That's why I gave it a star. And they did put some effort into the movie, it just didn't have the flavor that the original cult classic had and it really showed why modern horror is going in the drain. To the producers, I would like you to cast a view towards this movie as why special effects, which cast MILLIONS to make, will never substitute for a well written and re-written story, which costs much less.

Overall I give it a 1.75/5 stars.

House of 9: The Review

House of 9  [2005]

The movie I'm watching tonight is called House of 9. The title was what hooked me into wanting to see this, I mean I personally think it sounds like a very interesting title. And from the small bits of information I gathered from online, it is supposed to be a horror movie. Now, I'm actually a huge fan of horror films, I love them intact, and so I decided to watch it. And if that did not have me interested, it is a British film and I love watching things that are international. Here's my review of a movie most people probably have never heard of, House of 9.

Synopsis:

The beginning of the movie starts out with all the different people who will make up the 9 in the title and what they are currently doing in their lives. Some are out partying, others are just walking along, but all of them in the end are abducted and taken to the house. There are also some shots interlacing the scenes of how they are abducted of the house that they will be in. Right from the start, you can see where this is going.

The nine different people then wake up in this house, the windows have all been bricked-in and the front door is made of steel, reinforced and not moving. There are eerie glowing lights all around them and except for some beds, bathrooms, a very small kitchen, and a table, the house is empty. Then a man comes on the speaker and tells them that they have been chosen randomly and only one will be getting out of the house alive and with a lot of money too. From there, the movie turns into a dramatic thriller as the nine contestants are suddenly tested between being a society and survival of the fittest.

Verdict: 1.75 / 5 stars

I'm just going to be straight out when I say this is a really cool, really terrifying concept that sort of takes the idea of Lord of the Flies and applies it to a basic concept of being locked away in a house. Or at least, I wish that was the concept that went in behind this movie. It's not. Instead, the creators break this movie up and make something that is supposed to be a bit more catching and a little bit closer to the edge of your seat. They fail and it goes down horrible.

The first half of the movie should be called something along the lines of "Democracy: Sit On Your Arse" because literally it becomes this democratically struggle of who is in charge and what should they do. One guy is a cop with a  gun, the rest are all civilians with really boring back stories of the most part. They eat, they sit, they drink, they sit, they explore, they sit, they dance, they sit, and all around nothing happens. Literally this is a HUGE loss of stars for this film, because when I watch a movie the only person who should be sitting and doing nothing for more than five minutes should be me. So I'm going to take off huge. Instead, I would have liked to have seen the creators of this movie have made them first want to escape, then each of the characters find something that's different, interesting, a clue maybe as to what is going on. Maybe it is something that helps them in their final task, maybe it's something that they think will help but turns into someone else's prize. That would have been interesting and added some flavor to this. But like I said, all they do is sit and eat and dance and sit some more. What a waste of a beautifully undefined mansion.

The second half of the movie is where the action starts. Something goes wrong, society fails, and all hell breaks lose for our heroes. Except at this point you've either come to love or come to hate certain characters and in a way you've already selected who you want to live and who you want to die. Why? Because the first half of the movie was sitting and eating and you learned how annoying some of the characters are. So anyway, all hell breaks loose, people start dying, and a winner wins. The end. Oh, there's a twist in there but it's really not that important, big, or unguessable (I actually knew the twist right when it happened because it seemed fishy).

But the most disappointing part was that they left the Priest alive for so damn long. Now I know the reason they did it was to play with this notion of is God really watching, but let's be honest. No, no he is not and it wasn't fun to watch them figure that out. I mean, this priest so so annoying that from the minute he started talking I just kept thinking, 'please die, I don't need this much of him in the movie'. But he keeps living, and he lives for what seems like forever. I'm being honest when I say he ruins part of the movie, and that's why I'm making a big note out of it.

Last, this movie loses points because of the ending. I like vague endings, but this one wasn't even that. It was a continuation ending, one that tells you there's basically a part two to the whole tale. I hate those in movies where they did not even answer a question the first time around. So why the hell would I want to see a sequel if nothing gets answered the first time? I don't. Minus points.

So where did this movie get points, because I'll admit I'm really smacking it down. Well the original concept is a brilliant and very interesting one, so I gave it some awesome points for that. And the art direction in the film is chilling, very well done for defining the house and the characters. I think it could had been better on the house, but I can see the effects that the director was heading for and I'll give him that. And finally, although I hated the ending for the vague, very mentally distilled, and overall annoying, it did have something to it that made me think back a bit. So I gave it that. But most importantly, I really did want to see something happen and have a mystery. Now, it's too bad the mystery in this film is a no brainer, but I appreciate the poor attempt. 1.75/5 stars.

Mr Hollands Opus: The Review

Mr. Holland's Opus [1995]

The Movie Poster

I told myself that I was not going to do a review for this movie, I was trying to get off of doing reviews. I'm not exactly sure why I don't want to do reviews anymore, I actually love talking about the things I see and if I liked them or not. Still, this movie turned out to be hard to not want to make a review for. So I give to you my review of Mr. Holland's Opus.

Synopsis:

The movie starts out with Mr. Holland as a young man. He's got a wife, they're settling down, and he's got this new gig at the band teacher at John F. Kennedy High School. And I use the term gig on purpose, because previously he was in a band. He loved his life in the band and he wishes he could have stayed in it, but when everything happened he needed money and settling more than he needed the band. So he's taking a bit of a different roll on now.

At the beginning of the movie you learn that he hates teaching. Every day he goes to the school and every day he's rushing out. Turns out he's not really into teaching that much, or so he thinks. Well, the principal of the school cracks down on him and tells him he needs to get into gear and start making the students learn and want to use that knowledge. So then he starts helping the students learn on a different level, one they can appreciate and one they can enjoy.

The rest of the movie is watching his life through the generations. Literally it goes from the start of his career to the end of his career and the viewer really gets to see what happens with him and with what he does. By the end of the movie, you'll feel that you really know him.

Verdict: 4.75 / 5 Stars

I love this movie and I don't think there is any better way to start this review. From start to finish you learn to love Mr. Holland and what he does, you like his reactions and you like how he teaches. So from beginning to end of the movie, it was just interesting and fun to watch. And on an emotional level I felt attached to the characters as well. That's something that is rare.

Now, maybe I'm a sucker for movies with teachers who prove to be real teachers, the ones that get the point across and make you love them because they bring you to the next level. That might be because in my own life I've felt this same sort of thing happen, but it is what a good teacher does. So to capture that essence as beautifully as it is done in this movie, with the drama and the back-story that is expected, is what sends it over the top for me.

And I bet now, after raving on how much I've liked it, you are wondering why I gave it less than a perfect score. Well, although I love everything and the emotions are there (which is usually that last missing point in a lot of movies), I felt that some scenes went on a bit too long or were a bit too slow. It's definitely worthy of the score, and most certainly worthy of a watch, but the director should have learned to cut certain things and make it speed through the scenes that were less interesting. And I know it maybe would have taken only ten minutes or so out of the entire almost two and a half hour long movie, but that does make a huge difference when coming to the final vote.

Still, this is an excellent film packed with emotion, drama, timeless values, a look into the past, and a great teacher. If you have not seen then, go get a copy and watch it. It is a great movie. 4.75/5 stars!

Found Some Pictures From a While Ago

Me with Eleven Inches of Hair!!!

Remembering the Hair

So if anyone remembers, about a year ago I shaved off all of my hair for St. Baldrick's Day and gave the incredibly long hairs I had obtained in approximately a years time to Locks of Love. Well, I've actually come across a lot of pictures from the event and I decided I might as well as share them. And TRUST ME, I know I look terrible in this picture, but that's what happens when you are a guy that grows your hair out to eleven inches and then donates all of it to a charity organization. So no judging me on that part, I took the burden of carrying my hair everywhere and looking like a fool for months and I don't need to be reminded of how terrible it looks.

Now these photos also show off why I will never EVER have hair that long again. I mean, besides being totally degrading to have hair that long and everyone saying I look like a girl (which to everyone out there that said that, I already knew and life was hard enough; I didn't need to hear that).

Right Before They Stole my Hair [Picture 1]

The First Few Cuts [Picture 2]

Anyway, In picture 1 you can see I've already lost a LOT of hair (and at the time I was feeling lightheaded and my neck felt wonderful). Well, that's because to get the donation of hair for Locks of Love, I had to cut it off and ziplock bag it up before I got up to the donation area and had my head shaved completely off.  Now, I was lucking during this whole thing that my friends had come along with me,  because my Wife then was able to be the one to make the special First cuts of my long locks of hair. Then, as shown in picture 2, I gave it away to the St Baldrick's people and they took shavers and started sawing away at what was left. As you can see, she started in the back with my head and worked her way forward.

Almost Gone [Picture 3]

In picture 3 is a middle step that was taken, which I wanted to show because this lady unfortunately has the untimely job of having to shave hair over and over again until the event was over. So, to make it more fun for herself she started doing designs with the hair that was left. Since I had an oddly proportioned amount of hair on my head (because my lover did not cut the hair to all the same length while trying to get as much of it off), my personal balding stylist decided I should have a mohawk before it was gone. This picture was taken right before she let the last bit go (not that I was sad). I remember at this point feeling like my head was hot because of the clippers running over the bare scalp. Don't worry, that would all change soon afterwards.

A Zen Feeling as the Last Goes [Picture 4]

And then finally that last bit was taken off and I was left with nothing but the bald head I had been craving. That last small strand was off in no time, and then the lady shaving my head spent a good deal of time making sure she had gotten all of the small fuzz that was just a bit too long to be called bald. As you can also see form this picture, I'm not actually perfectly bald but rather a very close approximation. Thank God! Regrowing hair from the skin level is itchy as all get-out and I would have been scratching my head like crazy if they went any closer!

And finally, I'm going to throw in one last picture that shows off my two favorite friends in the whole world, the ones that let me bum with them (couch hop?) while I was visiting in San Francisco! I can't stop thanking them enough and I'm always happy we have these moments together, which leads to the final and most important point to this article, ALWAYS do stuff with your friends because they are the ones that mean the most when you look back. I can't wait to see these two again, though next time it'll be at their wedding!

Happy Memorial Day Everyone!

(From Left to Right) My Husband, My Wife, and Me Afterwards

Bored to Death (Season 1): The Review

Bored to Death (Season 1) [2009]

The Bored to Death Poster

So I normally do movie reviews every night, and I've actually already done a movie review for tonight, but those are not the only types of things I watch. As such, I figured I might as well branch out and include a couple of television shows I'm watching. Now, a thing about my reviews for television shows is that I do NOT want to write a review until I finish the season. Why? Because if I watch one episode and then write a review, I might not have gotten the true flavor of the television show that I didn't notice in just thirty minutes or less. For example, I did not realize the comedic value of the television show Arrested Development for the longest time. However, once I found it I could not stop laughing. So I feel it's important to give television shows a full season before they get judged.

Synopsis:

So this writer, Jonathan Ames (played by Jason Schwartzman) is working on writing his second novel, except he's currently having a huge problem with writers block. His girlfriend moves out of their place, his life feels meaningless, and his best friend, a comic book writer by the name of Ray Hueston (played by Zach Galifianakis), doesn't seem to help. So, slightly out of boredom and slightly out of finding an old novel in the pile of books in his apartment, he decides to spice up his life by putting an ad on Craig's List that says he's a private detective with very reasonable rates. He mentions in the ad that his is not licensed and takes that as the only way to tell people he in no way is related to crime solving. Well, he starts getting calls and from there the show takes on a detective sort of tone.

Except he's not a detective and he's anything but trained in being a good private eye. So the show focuses on his life and how he's not a detective. You meet his other buddy and mentor/boss, George Christopher (played by Ted Danson) and you see how he tries to piece his life back together with his friends, the detective business, and writing his story. So it becomes this complicatedly simple show about weird cases he solves while trying to do other things.

Verdict: 3.5 / 5 Stars

So I watched the whole first season and, if you read my synopsis, then you understand that this show could very much be interesting. Except the main character is kind of dull in his life and he's not very good with girls. I think that the creators really tried to play him up as a funny sort of guy, but he doesn't come off that way most of the time. And that's what really hurt this show if you asked me.

No, instead the actual BEST character on the show is his mentor/boss George. Now, the reason I really like George in this show is that he's this rich, lovable character with a background business that's respectable and yet he has all these weird problems that a rich person should never have. So from the first episode to the last episode he takes the side character roll and just makes it amazing. He's calling Jonathan in to go to parties with him, complaining about the complications in his life, and just all around getting into strange troubles that I found hilarious.

~~~~~Spoiler Alert~~~~~

For instance, he gets a herpes blister on his lip and he has a speech to go to and he does not want to show off the blister in public. Since there is no way out of doing the speech, his best idea is to call Jonathan in and ask Jonathan to punch him hard in the face so that it looks like he was in a battle. Now, standing back we can all see that this is not going to work, but the whole scenario plays out in such a dramatically hilarious style that I could not help but laugh at it. There's a bunch of others, and this isn't the funniest of what he does, but I thought I would mention it to give at least some sort of example.

~~~~~End Alert~~~~~

And beyond the best character, even Ray tends to be a little bit funnier than Jonathan. Ray has really weird problems and he talks about them like they are everyday issues, which is perfect for adding humor to the roll. But with that said, I don't think that either of the side-characters would have made a great front-roll character and are best where they stand now. So I'm going to leave it at that and just say that the two friends of Jonathan actually make the show.

Which means the only thing that could possibly make the show terrible are if the cases are bad or uninteresting. Some are less interesting than others, some are really funny ideas, but in the end it all sort of averages out to a decent case-listing in the show. So I'm not knocking it for having decent detective stories to tell, but I do have one problem with it. I like television shows that show progress with each episode, where if you missed the previous then you might not understand the details that go into the next. This show has none of that outside of a very large, very slow back story. I would have loved to see some cases not get solved and carry over a few episodes while he works others, I would have dies to see a master case that engulfs the whole season and he solves it little bit by little bit with each other case adding to the clues. I like mastermind stuff like that, the things that lead you on and then blow up to awesome proportions at the end. This sadly just doesn't have it. So that's a bit hurter.

Overall, the show did keep me entertained and I did manage to quickly and easily make it through the first season. If you want an extra show that is something you can watch while doing something else, this is probably it. I give it a 3.5/5 stars.

The Adjustment Bureau: The Review

The Adjustment Bureau [2011]

The Adjustment Bureau Movie Poster

Okay, so I know that in reality I talk a lot about how I hate Matt Damon, but at the same time I also feel that all movies should be given the same chance to impress me. Why? Because there were other people who worked on this movie and they deserve a chance to prove themselves to. So as it stands, I'm going to do my review on the Adjustment Bureau.

Synopsis:

So the movie starts out with a very good, progressive, and young politician who is not only the front-runner for everything, but ahead of everyone in the field. Well, all that changes when he makes a mistake with his life and is suddenly thrusted off-track from his political dreams. So on the night that he loses his big election, he also meets the girl that is of his dreams. 

And that's when the adjustment bureau steps in, which is a set of persons that go around fixing the world to make sure that the best possible future outcome will occur. Except they mess up, and the rest of the movie is how they have to then fix it.

Verdict: 4.25 / 5 Stars

So even though I still hold a grudge against Matt Damon, this was actually a really good and really interesting movie. I like the play on love that runs through the whole thing and I really like that while you know where it's sort of going, there's this mystery of what will happen next since you don't exactly know what the Adjustment Bureau is. And they spend some time trying to explain it, but they do it very ghostly, for lack of a better word, by which I mean you get this feeling of what the adjustment bureau is and what the adjustment bureau does and who is the adjustment bureau but without actually telling you the full story every time. And be a person that really appreciates when movies leave mystery, it was like a hook to keep me watching.

Now, from start to finish the characters are this story of lovable, elastic bunch that you just want to watch and see more of. There are no real bad guys in this film either, which is something that rarely happens in the film like this, and so even the worst of characters you are interested in. And it worked, I actually wanted to hear more from all the characters, to learn more about everyone and really get to understand the things they do and why. So from that perspective I really was pleased with this movie. And the cinematography was really beautiful too. There are these scenes were you get the sunset or the the rain coming down just beautifully in the background. Now a lot of people don't take the time to really appreciate that, but I did and I thought it was done marvelously in this film, really making the whole thing look impressive and interesting. So I felt I had to make a point about that and just let everyone know that while watching this film, just realize that everything is picked out perfectly. All of that gets a paragraph, because it all deals with the behind hands on the film.

Another thing that bumps this movie up above other's I've been having the pleasure to review is that I know I could rematch this one easily. There's this sort of flavor to the way it plays out that I really like, the whole is it fate or is it destiny really coming into mix here in a way that hasn't been done before. For instance, on the one hand you learn the Adjustment Bureau works to make a better world by slightly adjusting it, but they also admit there is a certain unknown prominence to the future. I really like that and that's what makes this a fun watch. And the spontaneous feelings that you get from the movie, although rather random at the time, are also really planned out. So although you are kind of being led along, it does have a very direct path that you could see coming.

Now on the downside, there's nothing in this movie that really provides more to humanity except the basic ideas that Freedom is not Free and Love Triumphs, which are wonderful ideas but they get played a lot. The movies I tend to give higher ratings to have a beat all to their own, sending a message that maybe you can't say in 5 words or less and this movie just does not have that. So while its fun, I can't give it a perfect score because I don't feel like I've become a better person, a more educated person, from watching this. my final verdict is 4.25/5 stars.

Horrible Bosses: The Review

Horrible Bosses [2011]

Horrible Bosses Movie Poster

So I have pretty much nothing to do today and I think someone in my family told me that I should watch the movie Horrible Bosses. I thought why not, I like Jason Bateman as an actor ever since I watched the entire Arrested Development series (and multiple times), so I turned it on and just let it run. My mistake. Here's the review.

Synopsis:

So these three men have three bosses that they totally hate, one of which is a psycho, one that's a whore, and one that's a spoiled brat. And the whole movie starts out showing you each person's relationship with their boss and how it just is not working out. Then everything starts spiraling out of control as their bosses get worse which, of course, leads to the great idea that they should just kill their bosses. From there, this is supposed to be a comedy about the three of them and their long journey to kill each others bosses to make life easier for the other ones.

Verdict: 2.5 / 5 Stars

Now like I said, I really like Jason Bateman. And the idea behind this movie is not a terrible one, I mean it's a little bit cliche now that we've had a bunch of movies that try and to mimic the classic Office Space [1999]. But unfortunately the cast and characters left me feeling like this movie needed something. Like the villains are perfect, but the three main characters you just slowly lose care for over time. For instance, Jason Bateman plays Nick Hendricks who is a well-to-do guy that thinks the only way to get promoted is to suck-up to his boss, but it makes him seem rather spineless in the long run. Charlie Day plays Dale Arbus who's an all-around annoying guy (I actually was really getting annoyed with him the more the movie went on). And last, Jason Sudeikis plays the sex addict. So really, because these guys have these abnormal qualities, you just over time lose care for them and honestly start believing that maybe they got what they deserved.

But with that out of mind while I watched this, because I didn't think that until just over half-way through the movie, I still found the plot to be rather not-thoughtout. Like they'd give these three guys a situation, something would happen, they'd give them another situation, something new would happen. That's just not how I like my movies. I like it when you can see there was a lot of thought behind every scene and why things happen, when mysteries go from start to finish and things you didn't think were important become important. This one was more like here's some random stuff, lets let the characters roll off of it and make a movie. That's what killed it for me and led me to boredom halfway through.

And on top of that, I sort of wonder if the writers were looking for spots to even make jokes, because I honestly don't get the comedy in this movie all too well. It's kind of like here's a random thought, then move on. But because the context is so drowned out by screaming and annoyance, I just didn't think it was funny. Its like going to a restaurant, you don't want to have an entire meal that tastes bland but more of a sporadic assortment of complimenting flavors. This was a bland meal.

My personal feelings? 3/5 stars at first until I realized I'd never come back for this dish. I downed it to 2.5/5 stars for that reason.

Bad Teacher: The Review

Bad Teacher [2011]

Bad Teacher Movie Poster

So this may come as a shock, but this is actually my second or third time watching this movie all the way through. I know I should stick with movies I've never seen before, but for all the reviews in the world that I can write this one won't matter. So I've rewatched the movie and here's my personal opinion.

Synopsis:

A really bad middle school teacher, Elizabeth Halsey, thinks she's going to retire from teaching after being in the service for a whole year. She has a rich boyfriend she's about to marry, a luxurious life set ahead of her, and no troubles what-so-ever. Except her rich boyfriend figures out that she's really only in it for the money before they can get married and so it's back for another year of teaching at John Adams Middle School (JAMS for short).  From there, its her strangely abusive, not very clean story of trying to go from rags to riches, or in her case get a new set of breasts to make herself more appealing to rich men.

Verdict: 3.75 / 5 Stars

If you'll believe it, I actually really enjoyed this movie! I mean, with all the vulgarity and what not I actually enjoy everything that happens. And I just want to state now that I was on the line between giving this movie a whole four stars or three and a half. Why? Because I know this movie is not right for everyone, but that's not to say it is just a terrible movie.

I guess what I liked about this movie is that there is this nostalgia while watching it of that's how my school went. I had the peppy teachers and the classes where there was the popular girls and popular guys who would not take a second of their life to look past the superficial appearances. And I liked that it was set in middle school, which is when hormones are a blaze in the students, and yet here we have this raunchy teacher who's drugged up and doped out in between her attempts at get-quick rich schemes. So in this essence, it kind of makes it more interesting for me.

And the plot seemed well thought-out. Like you can tell that whomever wrote the script really worked hard to make her seem like a witty teacher that could have tricked a rich guy into letting her have half his money and not the other way around. Combined with an arch nemesis, which I personally loved the corkiness of Amy Squirrel, and you get this sort of sickly sweet twist to a very different sort of comedy.  Top it off, I'm sort of a sucker for love stories that revolve around central characters and I love Justin Timberlake in this movie as the roll of the weird hot guy. So for me, it wasn't exactly something I would call painful to re-watch and I actually would recommend it to a friend.

The only problem I do have with this film is that its almost like they worked a little too hard to make it about the adults in the movie and less about the kids. I would have liked to see more interaction with the children and how she reacts, maybe even with some scenes extended. Instead, we get this sort-of pulled back view on the year that focuses around the principle and the adults. I also would have loved to have seen more teachers in this movie. Like we start to see them, but they too are just kind of there and not really given much more light than a quick appearance. And of course, I can't give it a perfect rating because this movie is NOT for everyone (and I know that).

So I feel this movie is a 3.75/5 stars type.

Rest Stop (Movie): The Review

Rest Stop (Movie) [2006]

Rest Stop Movie Poster

And so tonights movie is a horror film called Rest Stop. Now, just from the title you should be able to tell that this is going to be a long, bad movie night. It's a B horror film (at best). So here we go.

Synopsis:

So this girl (Nichole) and her boyfriend (Jess) decide to run away from home to become movie stars or something. As they drive away, Nichole has trouble with the idea of running away and wants to call her parents. She doesn't because her boyfriend says not to. So then they're off on the road. A random sex scene, and a random cut to them talking about being on some back highway for some reason, and then wouldn't you know it but Nichole needs a bathroom... also know as a rest stop. So begins the horror fun.

Verdict: 1 / 5 Stars

I'm really torn while writing this review because its a really bad movie, and I mean that, but at the same time it is entertaining. Now, let me get down to why this movie is so bad. First of all, the whole premise is just stupid. A rest stop that a guy haunts and attacks people to kill them? That's just sad how low the film makers have stooped to make a horror movie (and a bad one). Now, I'm not taking off stars for this point though, because most horror films are based around some sort of bad idea.

No, what I'd like to take points off for is the just terrible scripting. First of all, there's no character interaction in this film at all. Why? Because the only character in the film that lives through every stupid thing that happens in Nichole. So she goes here, she goes there, she goes here, and so on and so forth. And I don't mind that, but it would be nice if they would at least have given her a friend to talk to and to figure this out. And I mean someone long term, not a short term friend.  So a lot of the stuff she has to figure out on her own, which is slow and annoying. And when they do give her a friend, it lasts maybe 20 minutes at most. It drives me nuts.

But I also hated the lack of a set-up. A good horror movie knows that they'll set everything up close to the beginning so that later you get to see how things unravel. This one didn't have any of that. It was just random scene after random scene with nothing too well thought out. So after about the third time I'm just so annoyed that it won't end that it pisses me off.  Seriously, every big mystery in the movie is about 10 seconds from being unraveled instead of being planned out from the beginning. It was frustrating. I'm really taking out points for the lack of a set-up and burst-topic thought that went into this.

Yet, on top of that there is a HUGE layer of characters who have interesting pasts and are interesting and I'd love to see more of them. So why the hell they didn't try and play all the characters up I'll never know. And I don't want to ruin it, but there was a really good moment in there where I wanted something more to happen with some of the most psychotic characters that didn't.

To end my review, I'd like to say that it also lost points from just the rugged lack of intelligence with EVERY character. Like, the amount of stupidity that EVERY character had was unbelievable. I think anyone with about half the brains could have done better than this girl. 

~~~~~Warning: Spoiler Alert~~~~~

1. Take for instance the scene where she's in the station talking on the old CB Radio and gets the "trucker" on the other end. Now, it already isn't weird to her that on the television is the porno they made earlier that day (and she identifies it, based on the look on her face). So she starts talking to this guy, he talks back, and he says he's going to call the cops. She asks what his name is and he says, gasp, 'Jessy.' RIGHT THERE that should be a hint that this is NOT a trucker an should NOT be trusted. But instead she gets drunk and forgets all about it. 
2. Here's another example. The car suddenly magically reappears in front of the little station for the rest stop. Now, normal people would find that weird and not want to get in. But oh, our so smart heroin is going to jump right into the drivers seat and start driving away. Except everyone knows that if the car was put there magically, it means something is up. So don't get in the car you dumb girl. Ugh...
3. Third example, the police officer talks to the guy in the truck and he says he's been lost for hours, driving by the rest stop every now and then without doing anything. The police officer accepts his answer, to which point the truck turns around. Now, while he's standing there explaining this to the girl, who clearly said IT WAS HIM, he suddenly gets caught in the headlights of the truck. Let's not move out of the way, lets just let the "lost" truck driver blind you even though he should have turned around and left. Sad to say, it doesn't end well for him.

~~~~~End of Spoils~~~~~

Seriously, the day that the masterminds behind these movies create smarter characters, I'll by happy. All I want is a hero who is smart enough to do normal reactions, but the bad guy is one step ahead. My verdict is 1/5 stars.

Shrek 4: The Review

Shrek Forever After [2010]

Shrek Forever After Movie Poster

So, I don't just like to watch action films or adult-rated films. In fact, every now and then I like to branch out and see a kid's movie. And I rate kid's movies differently than I do movies for teens or movies made for adults. Why? Because not all children films are really made for adults. This is definitely not one of them.

Synopsis:

This is a movie about the character's you've come to know and love from the first three Shrek films. It starts out with a birthday party for the three ogre children Shrek and Fiona had and slowly Shrek becomes more and more angry at the life he's living. Finally, he just wants to break away and is granted the opportunity when handed a magical contract by Rumpelstiltskin. Well, as anyone could have guessed, the contract has two sides to the deal and so the rest of the movie is about getting the contract null and void (to put it in the simplest of terms).

The Verdict: 3 / 5 Stars

Unlike the first film which had a really nice, new flavor to it (something different that was about the same old, so it goes), this movie didn't have that sort of charm. And since the second movie (Shrek 2) is in my opinion the best one yet, there was a lot on the table. Unfortunately, the plot line was so predictably the same and the fantasy land that it's based in just wasn't played up the way it should have been. So I felt like there was a lot left to be desired. For instance, in Shrek 2 they really play up the fact that Far Far Away is a hip, cool town. They play up the characters, they really work on the theme of the fairy tale, and because of that it has the same charm the first one had but with just more of it. This one did not exactly have that. In fact, it was like they made up their own charm instead of working with what fairy tales told.

Beyond that, the plot was as basic as it could get. You knew when everything was going to happen, you knew there wasn't going to be any plot twists, and you knew who the bad guy was and what he was going to do. In fact, the plot was so easily laid out for anyone over the age of 6 that it really hurt the story. So I would have loved in they would have reworked it to add in some sort of twist that would leave me thinking about it in the end. Too bad.

And if that's not bad enough, I felt like all the characters weren't played up very much in this one. It was a new movie all about Mike Myers instead of about the entire cast. I think that's what really made the charm of the second one was the large ensemble of people in it that all played an astounding part. But this movie, with the exception of the cook (that I liked) there wasn't much of a cast to be had. Donkey was Donkey, Puss in Boots was fat, and Fiona played up her usual sort of character. So it would have been nice to have seen more of the side characters come in, maybe develop them some more. I think that's what was missing and why I subtracted another star.

My personal feelings? 3/5 stars, as in it's worth it for the kids to see.

Source Code: The Review

Source Code [2011]

Source Code Movie Poster

Alright, so the movie I'm actually currently in the middle of watching is, imagine that, Source Code. I'm writing this review now because above all, I'm sort of board with the plot. But no worries, we'll get to that in a second.

Synopsis:

So the story starts with a man who wakes up on a train, not sure where he is or who the person talking to him is. Immediately things start happening, the situation starts moving onwards and then, bam, the train explodes. The man then wakes up in a dark room with a  glowing screen in front of him. He's strapped into a chair, talking to someone he's never met before. Then they start informing him what's happening, he's in a version of a simulation and he has to go back. So, the story continues where the main character begins going back and replaying the same last eight minutes.

The Verdict: 3 / 5 Stars

The acting is exactly what you would expect from Jake Gyllenhaal, really good and brings you into the whole thing. And the other people around all take up part too, helping with this action flick to make it better. So why not a perfect score for this movie? Well, what great acting and nice action cannot replace is an amazing story, which this movie lacks. From the second time through seeing the train scene I had the whole thing figured out, to which I'm not going to say what, but I knew everything about the main character, I knew who was causing the problem, and I just was bored the rest of the way as I watched him jump through a bunch of loops (some of which were stupid and made no sense) to get to what I had figured out on the second time around. And even now as I keep watching through this, I just know exactly what's going to happen. So it's less interesting.

Don't get me wrong, I have all the love for movies where they play back the same scene again and again and you learn it's got a deeper depth than that. But this one wasn't that thick, in fact it was lacking depth and that's what hurts me. I was really hoping for a project that left more to be wanted. And not just in the repeating scene, but also in the current world where real things are happening. The people just aren't as interesting as I was hoping. So it hindered what would have been a cool idea. Overall, 3/5 stars is what I'd give this for that large story lapse.

Columbiana: The Review

Columbiana [2011]

Columbiana Movie Poster

SO I recently just watched the movie Columbiana and finally finished it. In total, I did the movie in four parts; which is not to say the movie is bad but more to say that people kept distracting me from finishing. Anyway, here's my review.

Synopsis:
So it's a movie about this little Latina girl that watches her parents get murdered as a child (this is all start-of-the-movie information). She runs away and spends the rest of her life plotting revenge, and I mean revenge. This girl has the vendetta of a life and she trains and works her way up to being the smart, sexy assassin that all males who watch this movie will want to see.

Next you see her as an adult, they kind of give you a good de-briefing on the years that passed, and then the action starts. Let's put it this way, the action at the beginning is kind of uninteresting, but the action at the end is really awesome. So if you wanna see a child with a vendetta, then this is your movie. Think Kill Bill but sexy Latina.

The Verdict: 3.5 / 5 Stars
I think there are some very simple ways to sum up the plot of this movie. In fact, to be honest the synopsis I have given is probably the perfect way to say the entire movie without telling exactly what happens. There's sex, there's killings, there's cool action and cool stealth, but all and all there's not much more on the thickening plot. Still, I enjoyed the action and the character actually kept me engaged the whole way through the movie (I actually really liked her and that's going beyond her external beauty). And the ending to the movie left a lot to be desired, which I actually liked too. I liked the loose ending.

My personal opinion about this movie is that it's not going to win any awards, some of the acting was meh, and the camera work could have been better (especially at the beginning). The title could have been worked on a bit more too, since most of the film takes place in America. Still, there's great action, a sexy girl with an awesome personality, and the vendetta angle really played out for me. I give it a 3.5 / 5 stars.

Don't Buy Battlefield 3

BATTLEFIELD 3 - THE REVIEW

So I know I do a lot of complaining about Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 and I never play the competition. Well, a friend of mine bought me the game (so we could play more games together) and I've come to one conclusion with all the time I've been playing it (which is approximately 10-30 hours now over a week of screaming at my screen). DO NOT BUY BATTLEFIELD 3!!!!!


Seriously, as far as video games go this is the worst one I've played in a while. I've been so frustrated with this game, that I honestly thing the better name for it would be Boring 'n Frustrated 3. So, if I haven't gotten you interested with what I've said, here's my official review:

Single Player (and Co-Op)
I don't play DICE single players. Why? Because the last one I played wasn't just bad, it was like knives to the groin. Even my friend who likes playing Single Player put down the last DICE single player I owned and said he wanted to gouge his eyes out. Get the point, DICE can't write stories and they are even worse at single player level design. So I didn't play it. Also, I'm assuming Co-Op is the same, so I won't be playing that either.

Multiplayer

Okay, so here we go with something real. As always, I have a list of things that will go on for ages so get ready. They're actually ordered this time in the way that I met each problem.

1. This game is NOT friendly! I know that my number on complaint with Modern Warfare 3 is that the game is too easy to pick-up that there literally is no depth. Well this game goes the other direction and they literally make it so hard to pick up that it has no depth because you are either loving playing it and good or hating it and bad. Literally, I picked this game up and I couldn't believe how IMPOSSIBLE it was made to learn. This part has multiple problems, so let me break it down.

• There is NO training. You hop online, you gonna die. You play offline, you gonna be bored. So that leaves you with fumbling with the buttons and trying to figure out what to do. Now, I know that normally takes about 10-30 minutes in a normal game, but I gotta tell you that after playing this game for as long as I have I'm still confused. I don't understand how bullets work, I don't understand where my bullets go or if they are hitting, I can't tell you what the hell a ticket means, and I certainly can't tell you how many shots are required to blow a hole in the wall. So without any training, you probably have to play for 100 hours just to understand these, and these are BASIC things you NEED TO KNOW. Stupid, right?
• All Bullets Curve/Travel. They don't tell you that in the manual, but all bullets curve down in this game at some rate that the game designers really don't tell you. It must have taken me a whole 5 minutes to figure out why my sniper rifle bullets weren't hitting the guys, and another 15 to even begin to understand how to aim. I still don't get it. But beyond that, all bullets curve, which means you aim above people's heads to get the shots you want. BUT WAIT, that's not all. All bullets also have to travel in the game, which means you sometimes have to point, shoot, and prey that it makes it to their face on time. This not only makes long-range shots difficult, but hurts all aspects of the game because its impossible to tell where to shoot. Also, I'd like to add that a lot of people have noted that the bullets don't fly slow, they fly REALLY slow. That means its even harder to tell.

The next few points are also NOT friendly! points, but I think they deserve a number of their own.

2. The Starting Guns are TERRIBLE! Okay, I know you are probably saying well thank god you get more soon. Except, if you are new to this game and the first guns you get are damn awful, then getting the next guns takes FOREVER. I just recently got the level 2 guns, they are AMAZING better. The starting guns do no damage, have small clips, are not friendly, bounce everywhere, and are just plain awful. It's so bad, but to make matters worse you don't get scopes forever with them, so its like noob hell for a good chunk of time.

3. There are NO Menus. I know there's this start-button menu, but that's in-game and that's bullshit. No. I'm talking about a menu that lets me change stuff and manage my guns while I'm not in the middle of a bloody encounter. Well, it pisses me off, especially since you sit in a stats menu for about a minute. Why not make better use of that minute and let me actually do something. Stats should be for when I want to see them, not always.

Beyond that, the menu they give you for weapons is TERRIBLE. It took me forever to figure out how to switch out stuff, how to get new equipment, etc. And beyond that, its like the worst menu system I've dealt with in a while. If I was EA, I would fire the guy that still hasn't designed menus for this game.

4. Too much teamwork. I know that they say this game focuses on teamwork, but it's just WAY WAY WAY too much. Seriously, without a decent squad of 3 others I always feel like I might as well be alone. A good squad means everything in this game, from getting health, ammo, rockets, and savings. Then you get into a game where you have a bad squad and you realize just how much you have to rely on other people. Now, like I said I understand that this is a squad based game and you should have to do teamwork, but if Modern Warfare 3 is 10% teammates 90% self for personal (IE not team) success, then Battlefield 3 is 90% teammates 10% self for personal success. No joke, no team means you are screwed. And now, take it for a new person who doesn't know anyone or how to play... that really makes it frustrating to the point where you won't want to.

5. Overpowered Vehicles. I know this game is about the vehicles, I know its about getting your squad into one and really just enjoying flying that copter or driving that tank. But this game takes it to the next level and it actually ruins the realism. Seriously, there are maps were you don't even run around on your feet, you just get in a tank or a heli or a plane and never get out.

Yet that's not the part I have a problem with the vehicles (though for every 5 soldiers there should be 1 tank and for every 15 soldiers there should be 1 helicopter, not for ever half soldier there should be three tanks.). My problem with the vehicles is they JUST WON'T DIE. You put a rocket into them, they keep going. You put another one in, it still isn't done. No, it takes 3 rockets to blow the damn things up. And with flying ones, they all have flares, so they never go down. Its the dumbest thing I've seen where they again go back to the whole "you need a team in this game" idea but they don't correct for overpowered vehicles. BUT WAIT, it gets worse. If the enemy team steals your vehicles, you get fucked. And not just that, but they can take them right out of your base. That leads me to number 6.

6. The Enemy can Steal Stuff out of your Base. THIS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED. The guns that are in your base that are supposed to be Anti-Air (the only things allowed to fly in your base) are WEAK, the choppers are WAY more powerful. It's depressing. DICE, go back and make the AA guns super powerful so I can stop them from stealing stuff out of my base and get the battle back on the ground. Seriously, don't know what you were thinking.

Also, if you can have stuff stolen out of your base, then just remember that you can be killed in your base. It happens all the time. Fail DICE, fail.

7. Terrible Spawns. I know I talk about spawns a lot, especially in Modern Warfare 3 where the spawn system is a revenge based on. Well, I will give Infinity Ward this, they made a spawn system. There is literally no spawn system in this game. It just plops you down and there is a 40% chance you are already dead. Yea, bad. But wait, what about the whole you get to pick your spawn thing. Well, sorta... You can pick the region but that doesn't guarantee that you won't instantly die from some guy sneaking around or you'll spawn facing the enemy who has his gun down. So in other words, there are no safe spawns. I hate it. I really really hate this.

8. Not Enough Players (or Maps are Too Big). Some of these maps are just right for 24 players (when you have 24 players), but some are just so extra-large that even with all 24 players it feels empty. And so then you spend too much time running into battle, running over here, running there, and then you get there and there's nothing there to be gotten. So then you continue running some more. Worst part, then you get shot by a camper, start over, and repeat. I wish developers would make maps that fit what's happening and not try to squeeze too many players into a small space or explode players into too large a fat map. 

9. 4 Player Squads. Seriously? This game design has been this way for over half-a-decade now and its getting old. In today's age, I want at least 6 people per squad or even better, up to 9 people per squad. This part feels so dated that I honestly hate it SOOO much. Seriously, get your friends together and now you can't even be on the same squad. Fail. So it would be nice to see larger squads especially since our internet and our games can handle them now.

10. All the problems from Previous Battlefields are still here! If you've played ANY of the battlefield games in all the variety it comes in, then you know they've all had the same problems that never get fixed. The medic has infinite revives and med-packs, there's infinite ammo packs, the repair kit can infinite-repair, etc etc. Well COME ONE DICE and FIX IT. Seriously, for a game that's supposed to be the most realistic one of them all, it has all these little cliche things in it that are just bull and I don't know why DICE doesn't get in there and fix it. 

How had is it to say the tanks can only be repaired on the side the were damaged on (same with airplanes/helicopters) and ammo packs, med-packs, and repair kits can only be replenished at the main (moving) bases. Seriously, if they would fix this, I would be happier with the game by a thousand thanks', but they never do because they think a guy can pull a medical pack out his arse and keep healing, that those defibrillators will work indefinitely even though there's no electricity, that the repair gun adds material to a broken tank, etc. And I know I'm not even scratching the surface of the problems with the previous problems, those ones just bug me the most. I thought I'd make sure to really point it out.

Verdict: Don't Buy
I know, I'm not helping the economy, but people talk about re-skin sequels all the time and they love mentioning the Call of Duty series. Well, to be honest, this one feels EXACTLY like Battlefield: Bad Company 2 with some nice new shiny graphics (which were hard to differ from Modern Warfare 3 to be honest, minus the annoying effects like light glare [which is unrealistically overdone in the game] and rain [which is also overdone in the game]). Don't get it, it's a waste of money and it's a waste of precious braincells from when you bash your head into the wall from the frustration.


Every time I play I consider just making a video of me breaking it, and I really mean that. I think I might go back to SSX again...

San Francisco - The After Thoughts!

So if you didn't know, maybe because we aren't facebook friends or because you live in a ditch, I went to San Francisco, California for a total of 3 days and 4 nights! Ah yes, San Francisco, the city by the bay! Anyway, here's really quick run-down of what exactly happened (with amazing photos of course!). And also please note that while this post will detail everything I can remember, it doesn't detail everything that actually happened. Finally, I'll finish up with some after thoughts on the whole thing.

Arrival Day - The Flight in and Arrival

I think it's important for me to note that before I even was on my way to San Francisco, my dad was finding the best ways to annoy me in the car. First he quizzed me on how to use an airport (I know, get through security, cause problems, then they'll never notice the amount of liquids you bring on the plane). Obviously I passed that. Next he of course had to play the song "San Francisco" by Scott McKenzie. I'd like to note that I never wore flowers in my hair!

A view out of the Plane, it was all Clouds that Day!

So I flew Frontier down to the bay and after a beautiful hour delay, I was in the air and then I was there. It actually kind of worked out, the way that my plane got delayed and what not, because my friends were late and so it gave them the perfect amount of time to get down to the San Francisco International Airport (abbreviated SFO for god knows what reason). They picked me up with much crying and hugging and then some more crying (it was the reunion of the century), but I am disappointed at the lack of french bread when I arrived. I was promised some french bread and so I have to state that clearly.

Anyway, next thing I knew we were off and it was time for dinner at the most sketch Mexican restaurant this side of the Pacific. It actually was some of the best, random Mexican food I've ever had. I also ended up meeting some of Vicki's family there as well, and they are great people of course! Then they drove me to their apartment in Walnut Creek where I was crashing for the time! Well, that's it for my epic arrival day.

Day 1 - The Official First Day

Now I got up at the crack of dawn after that flight and I was promised rain, but because I am like the best travel buddy that anyone could ever have I ended up missing out on the rain and just getting some clouds. So Wyatt ditched us for his job, and I still hate him for ditching me; his lover, his husband, his best friend; to go to work, but that's okay I guess. SO I spent the day with my wife, Vicki!

First we hit up the Bart and took it straight into the city. From there I took about a million pictures, I guess I turned a little bit Asian for the day but that's alright considering it was a great trip. Anway, we started off the day just right by taking a quick tour of the financial district. I loved it! I can't tell people how hard it is to see sky scrapers here in Colorado, but there it is the norm and for a structural engineer who loves architecture it was magnificent! So we walked around the buildings, Vicki giving me all the facts and tour details as we went (including how the homeless bathe in this one really awesome sculpture/fountain... which is disappointing considering how awesome that sculpture/fountain was) until we hit the ocean. I love the ocean and with how little I get to see it, it was beautiful even on a cloudy day! From just this one dock (or whatever) I took a bunch of photos and strung them all together to get this picture of the Oakland Bridge going to Treasure Island (any and all facts might be wrong in this).

A view of the Oakland Bridge on a Sunny Morning

Irish Coffee at the Buena Vista Cafe

From there we were off, following the coast line until we reached Fisherman's Wharf. I got my In-N-Out burger from there and that was good (though I'm not positive what the rave is about, but I'm happy I know what it is now) and then we decided to head uphill a little ways to get some an Irish Coffee from the first place in America to serve it! Now, I have to give a bit of a back-story here when I tell that Vicki would have no Alcohol while I was there (a disappointment, but I lived happily with a glass in my hand) so she got a version that just isn't quite the same but close enough. It was AMAZING! I honestly do believe that was both the best coffee I've had before noon and the best Irish coffee I've ever had. The secret is they pre-warm the glass with hot water, add the coffee and then the whiskey, and then to really make it sweet they add exactly one sugar cube. And if you didn't pick up on it, Irish coffee has whiskey in it that really gives it a kick. Glad we added that to the list at the last minute.

Chocolate, Yum!

The Infamous Pterodactyl Face!

Next we hit up Ghirardelli Square for some quick ice cream at the Ghirardelli factory (along with some chocolate). I've been here before, but I just had to go again while I was out in San Fran! If there's one thing I love in this world, its got to be chocolate! I also decided to throw in the picture of Vicki totally Pterodactyl facing (that's what she calls it, not me) a small chocolate replica of the Golden Gate Bridge. Its all good laughs and it was an excellent stop, but who can complain when chocolate is all that's on the menu? So we did that for a little bit, taking a break for the long walk around town before leaving again and hiking it up one of the many San Francisco hills!

Lombard Street in the Background

 So next was the infamous Lombard Street (which although I've already seen, I felt it was necessary to go to as well). We hiked all the way up this road and arrived perfectly right next to Lombard, watching as a slew of cars went down the curvy road. I took some pictures from the top, pictures of the trolly going by, and then we walked down the stairs! The whole way, Vicki and I planned how we would one day own a house on that street to say we lived on Lombard Street. We also talked about how the kids could never go outside because they'd get hit by a car (at least I remember this conversation). After that I took the best picture I think I got of the both of us together. Once we reached the bottom, we decided to make it a photo-moment and so I pulled out the old iPhone and got a snapshot off. I took the picture at a crooked angle on purpose too, because I really wanted to get the street in the background and it came out exactly how I wanted it. I might even get a couple copies printed, I love this picture that much. So that's the great Lombard Street!

Wine and Friends

The next few moments all kind of flew by in a rush. So first we went to a bookstore that was famous (and kind of reminds me of the Boulder Bookstore, like a bunch of floors with stairs going every which direction) and then afterwards I took that picture of the ground! It's one of Vicki's favorites and I agree that it was pretty awesome. Next, we hit up another square (not sure which one), the Gold Dust lounge, and then went to the top of the Marriot hotel to sit and act like billionaires in the View lounge. If I could sum up what I saw in one word, spectacular! I could see the skyscrapers from above all the way over to the ocean. And since the day was clear enough, I could even see the old Golden Gate in the far distance! So we sat up there, taking in the sites and loving the feeling of being young and acting rich. Some day, it would be nice to be rich enough to stop playing rich though!

The City View from the View Lounge

After such a tiring day, and also very little sleep the night before, I was ready to just pass out. That's when Wyatt commandeered my iPhone and started taking pictures of me to edit. Although I'm not particularly happy with what came out of that, I thought I might as well as throw it up here. You can't really see it in that photo, but Wyatt had his super goofy face on the whole time. Also, that's Vicki and Wyatt's apartment in the background! Vicki, the place looks great!

Day 2 - A Day on the Job

The second day I was in San Francisco I have almost no picture of, go figure. That's probably because for the first quarter of my day I was home with Vicki, talking and just enjoying her company (something I've missed for a while). At about 11 am though, I was dressed and out the door to go to Wyatt's work. So I got all button-shirt and sexy black pants and a diamond watch on, you know, the way that movie stars do when they want to make a good impression, and was out the door. 

I rode the Bart back into San Fran where Wyatt met me and we walked to his job. When we got there he got all excited to show me around and I met all his fun work buddies before he took me over to the structure department. They were so impressed with my attire alone that I was offered a job right on the spot, but I of course put up my hand, said thank you, and then denied the offer. God knows I can only do so much engineering with part of a master's degree, so I just couldn't accept it yet. Anyway, the structures department seemed a bit detached from me being there after I denied their offer and only spent about an hour or so telling me about their current jobs and a few of their past jobs. That's of course not to say that they weren't nice, the people were great and I'd love to work there. Then they got back to work, I got to go get some Chinese food for first lunch, and then I left Wyatt for the day.

So I left my husband with his work and went off into the big city by myself... sort of. About ten minute later I met up with my good buddy Nate and he took me on the Bart to a different part of the city I had never seen before. It was great, we had second lunch (or at least second lunch for me) and he told me about why he took me there and what certain places meant to him and his family. Like I remember him telling me that his mom went to one of the high school's we passed, which is really cool to learn information like that about someone. And I'd also like to make a small note that we sat on a stump and ate lunch in a park. It was great. 

Then he took me to this ice cream shop (I know, I ate a lot while I was there.... Vicki called it the food tour de San Fran) that was one of his favorites. That was actually really cool too, which is why I warranted the ice cream shop it's own paragraph. Basically the reason this place stood out was that the owners had some of the most unique flavors I've ever seen. I of course got some, I can't resist ice cream, and it was so different. I got two flavors; one was salted caramel and the other was cinnamon almond I think (can't be too sure on the second flavor, but the first was definitely the caramel). Then it was a walk back to the Bart where I went back to Walnut Creek!

Day 3 - Perfect Panda Picture Parade!

Vicki's birthday! Happy 25th Vicki and glad I was there for it! So I call this day perfect panda picture parade because we went to the San Francisco zoo, which is a very cool, small zoo, and that's how we celebrated her birthday! I can't really say much on the zoo, but it was fun and I'm more happy that I got to spend my friend's birthday with her!

And so after the zoo we finished up with one final place on my tour of San Francisco, which was a view from the beach of the Ocean. The reason this all worked out the way it did was because the San Francisco Zoo is literally right next to the ocean. I took a few photos and Wyatt used my phone to take a few photos too. The clouds were amazing for it and the ocean was roaring!

Oh yea, and insert something about Berkeley and the Berkeley Bowl in here. Basically, Berkeley is a hippie town (or so I'm told, we didn't get to see the school) and the Berkeley Bowl is like Sprouts or Trader Joes on super crack. Literally 9 types of mushrooms, 20 types of apples, 8 types of bananas, 10 types of oranges, etc...

Departure - A Broken Plane

So this chapter is short, but the next day I had a flight that was at the crack of dawn. Turns out I didn't have to really get up early though, because the plane was broken and they didn't get it fixed for 4 hours. Thanks Frontier! :(

Final Notes

So finally, I'd like to give a summary of things I wish I had done. I think its important to make these lists, because it means next time I'll remember exactly what I didn't do or wish I would have done this time around. Here's a list of things I wish I would have done:

• Met Vicki at the airport, but with some French Bread in her hands.
• Alcatraz. I'm sad I was so close and yet never got a tour. 
• Spent more time with Nate. We only had a few hours to catch up on a years time.
• San Francisco at night. I got a glimpse of the city lights one night, but I didn't get to go into any clubs or places to see what the nightlife was all about.
• Wine country. I feel like not getting to drive up north for some wine tastings was a miss this trip, though that's fine.

Anyway, loved the trip. Special thanks again to Vicki and Wyatt for letting my crash at their place and giving me a great few days and special thanks to Nate for getting time to come see me as well!